Chapter 1 What Most Men Want
Chapter 2 What Women Want
Chapter 3 Know Your Goals
Chapter 4 Know Your Objections
Chapter 5 Innocent Mistakes that Most Men Make and Myths Most Men Believe
Chapter 6 Dealing With Frustration (Yours and Hers)
Chapter 7 Six Simple Ways to Make Her Happy
From the Intro:
Most of the men I work with are practical, logical and sincere. Some have taken their frustrations outside the marriage by engaging in emotional or physical affairs, or escaping into internet addiction or alcohol. Others are suffering quietly. Some give in to their rages by yelling or acting out. Some shut down. Many men are interested in uncovering how their past has shaped them, what they imbued (both positive and negative) from their own parents, or learning how to grow more as a person and a partner.
From Chapter One
"Somehow, the desire for love, which is so appealing to women, often ends up lost in the morass of practical issues, such as who should shovel when it snows, who should do the grocery shopping and how many times you forgot to take out the garbage last week."
From Chapter Two
"To Sam this seems absolutely ridiculous. He does not say this directly in our sessions, because then Karen will cry, which makes him feel like he is failing as her protector, and that he is obviously incompetent and unworthy. Her crying frustrates Sam and prevents him from saying more of what he feels and thinks. If his honesty only hurts her, why bother? Karen’s requests frustrate him because he does not necessarily..."
From Chapter Three
"When it comes to love and marriage, most people in or seeking long term relationships today want emotional and financial security, companionship, compatibility, a good sex life, a sense of belonging, and a home. We want that home to be a safe place where we are welcomed and appreciated, taken care of and respected..."
From Chapter Four
"Another common fear-based objection is this: some men fear that by enhancing the communication and strengthening the love, they will sacrifice the desire, or the excitement in the bedroom. It is true that distance and tension can fuel desire, while companionship and compatibility can craft a different kind of love making..."
From Chapter Five
"...he had been feeling like her complaints were just too much. She was unhappy with him, or so it seemed. She was annoyed with the kids, and it was wearing on Jack. He loved her. He was afraid to rock the boat. He was afraid to hurt her. What Jack was most afraid of though, he realized, was to go on living the way he was. Her unhappiness was taking a toll on him..."
From Chapter 6
"We live at a time where the dividing line between seeking pleasure and relief and seeking stability often gets very blurry. As a relationship ages out of being new, exciting and filled will all the delicious feelings of initial infatuation and discovery, it can become more and more difficult to deal with frustration. Men often tell me that they truly wish their wives would just spell out what they want and need..."
From Chapter 7
"Sometimes, the simplest things are also the hardest. Many couples I know can stand together for life’s bigger events: a job loss, the death of a loved one, buying a home, having a baby or taking a trip. It’s the mechanics of the small stuff - putting the groceries away, paying the plumber, watching the baby, or scheduling the dentist - that can bring down the house."
From the Afterword
"...as well as other personal acts of loving kindness toward your partner create a healthy reliable sense of security and partnership. When we feel safely connected, we are better able to roll with the punches, to listen to and accept each other’s foibles, to speak our minds and open our hearts."